We often communicate love on Valentine’s Day with flowers, candy, and cards. But how do we communicate love the rest of the year?
When the book, The Five Love Languages first came out, it had a profound impact on our marriage. As simplistic as it seemed at first, the concept also had great application for my other relationships and I wanted to know more.
Thus, my journey into learning about the Love Languages began. As I studied the concept, I applied the principles with my children, friends, colleagues as well as the students at the school. The changes that I saw in my relationships led me to continue in my journey to know more about this concept of giving and receiving love in our love languages.
What Are Love Languages?
Think about when you feel loved as your ‘love tank’ –it can feel full or empty. Love Languages says that we ‘hear’ and receive love in different ways. In other words, what fills up your love-tank may be different than what fills up my tank. For example:
- Encouraging words that affirm and sincerely compliment someone;
- Appropriate physical touch such as hugs;
- Spending quality time: focused attention with our cell phones put away;
- Giving and receiving gifts: not expensive, but meaningful; and
- Acts of service: doing things to show someone how much you care.
The concept of love languages is powerful because it reveals that unless you are expressing love in the other person’s ‘currency,’ your message may not be reaching them. For example, if someone needs encouraging words but instead gets quality time, they might feel smothered rather than loved, despite the intentions of the one giving the time to show love. We ‘hear’ love in our love language because that is the commodity that fills up our love-tank.
This month, take some time to reflect upon this concept. Talk with your Logic and Rhetoric child about what their Love Languages are and how you can express your love for them in their current currency. What is your love language? What is the love language of those you care about? As you learn to love others in their love language, you will be amazed at the transformation in your relationships. (For more information check out any of the books on Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.)